We are on a hill that doesn’t exist yet,
but I’ve already chosen it.
It is high enough that the city
becomes someone else’s problem.
All we can see are scattered lights, distance,
and all that darkness in between.
It is cold enough that sitting close
would make sense.
Not that either of us would admit that’s why.
You would point at a star and say,
“That one’s probably called Ghost…
Always there,
just difficult for everyone else to reach.”
…and I would fail at hiding my smile,
the way I fail at hiding
what you do to me.
You would notice anyway.
You always do.
Least bothered about the stars,
I just want to watch you looking at them…
…and see what catches your attention,
what makes your eyes stay somewhere
a second longer.
Not to my surprise,
you would try to ruin that beautiful moment..
by making it funny,
by saying something ridiculous
right when the silence starts feeling too real.
And somehow,
that would make the moment even better.
Then I would look away for a second,
up at whatever Venus is busy doing,
pretending I came here for the sky
and not for your commentary.
The whole night would feel unhurried,
like it knows we are not trying to escape anything.
We haven’t lived this yet.
But somehow, I’ve already been there.
And in every version of it,
you’re still making me fight a smile
I already lost.
•Aafreen•
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